Lately, or so it seems, a lot of people close to me have been down on life. It’s easy to be this way in this day and age. The economy sucks, people of all ages are suffering, and stress has become a greater problem than it ever has before. Where ahs happiness gone? Does the sun just not shine as bright? Where did our sanity go and when is it coming back? Maybe it never left, it’s not even hiding. Perhaps we have gotten so caught up in our problems and everyday stress that we simply have forgotten how to do the simplest of things. To live
When I first scribbled down these thoughts it was right after one of the happiest and most in-tune with myself than I have felt for a very, very long time. I have one beautiful little girl to thank for that. This child has not only melted my heart numerous times but also reminded me what it feels like to be alive. Every time I go on facebook it seems that there are a handful of reasons as to why today sucks or how come somebody’s life is garbage. Whether it’s a bad test or a girlfriend/boyfriend that screwed them over. The reasons are plenty good enough to be upset about don’t get me wrong. It’s just that sometimes I start to see a pattern, a very negative one at that. Somebody will continue on, maybe put something of a normal status but by the end he/she throws in what I like to call a “poor me” card. The sad thing is, that these people just cannot be happy or at least for extended periods of time. Not only is this behavior proven to be unhealthy but it’s sad to witness as an outsider. Life, guys, was never meant to be painful, trying or unbearable. Many students when I talk to them, and I admit I used to have these thoughts come and go as well, feel as if the glory days have already gone. What lies ahead of us is a road of careers, decrease in parties as well as friends, bills; all this sounds bleak and at the same time is fully true. But, we the naive is exactly the reason why this seems so bleak. There is much more happiness to be made that will come not just on weekends, but every day of our lives.
Society today has stolen something from us, a key to our hearts, our happiness and our lives. We forgot how to live simply because a lot of us have forgotten how to love. I know this sounds incredibly “fairy like” or “stupid” but it’s true. Expand your minds and open your hearts. Sounds easy but think about it, do you really do it? If you think you do, or all the time anyway, you’re probably the same that thinks you live a perfectly good life and would love to pick up that stone and throw it right? Love comes in an indefinite amount of sources so take your excuses and forget them. Do not look for or be satisfied with just one source. A special girl//boy will bring you happiness yes, but if you stop there where will you end up? Right back on facebook destroyed again.
Zaria, the first girl in my life to steal my heart, perhaps because I just have never let anyone before, for whatever immature reasons. Zar simply showed me how to love again. She loves everything, and I mean everything, this isn’t uncommon, every child is like this. Their hearts are pure, and this is why you see them dance when we hear no music, laugh when we hear nothing said or done, smile genuinely when we see no reason to. Spending 2 days with Zar during Thanksgiving, watching her very curiously, I learned more about my life than I have in the last 12 years of education. Sure kids cry and aren’t happy all the time, but I’m not preaching that. I saw this kid go through the entire emotional spectrum in less than 10 seconds in fact. But she was always quick to come back around, something a lot of us have found to be more difficult as we age. Is this because we put more emotional attachment? I would disagree to that, but I believe perhaps we linger longer because we no longer attach ourselves as easily to objects like children do. They love everything, and therefore when something bad goes wrong, they pay their respects with sadness but they are quick to get over it because just around the corner is yet another thing to smile about.
So how did we lose it? At what point and age did we start emphasizing more importance on certain ideas and material objects than deserved? I don’t believe any one person knows the answer to this. Sure I could pump out 3 or more theories immediately but its irrelevant, its irrelevant because it’s a process that no matter what, is inevitably going to happen. Therefore needs no reasoning because this is not a scientific document, which requires no reasons to everyday happenings. This doesn’t mean we can’t learn from them. I don’t think we can ever resort back, nor would I want to personally. That’s what separates children from everything else. What we can do is use them to teach us how to be happy again. I’m talking about profound happiness, not a drunken weekend of sketchy memories at best. How to love again…
We have been conditioned, or so I believe, to not want love, that or to think love is something more mythical than tangible for each of us. Through music, television, movies, and the news, it has become something of the past, which breaks my heart. I see so many of my friends thinking that they can’t be happy until they have a girlfriend or boyfriends, or a sufficient enough amount of money to do the things they want. Girlfriends and boyfriends along with money will come and go, beer and hard alcohol will continue to be made, please don’t allow these items to be the primary motive behind our happiness. I promise with all my word that your life is not bad, if you want to disagree I would love for you to speak up. Just promise not to get upset when I point to another person in this same world that has a life that would make your current situation one of pure petty in comparison. One of my dearest friends leaned in and whispered to me as another friend was ranting about his outlook on life and said, “at least you didn’t lose your brother or sister.” My heart sank immediately and I felt thankful for the lives of both my sisters, as I felt horrible for him. The one who said that is one of the happiest people I know. This is why I laugh when I remember another friend commenting that when he would see him walking on campus, his appearance looks like that of a giant child, yes a child trapped in a giant man’s body. I find no coincidence between that and his unfailing ability to be happy or less stressed through many somewhat negative situations.
As for me, I realized that weekend that I have so much to be excited for. A wife and children that will without a doubt in my mind bring me unlimited amount of smiles, laughter and happiness whenever the time comes for them to enter my life. Everyone is unique, but I think when all is stripped away and all truth comes out we have a very common and realistic need, and that is to love and be loved. This is a common theme that has been talked about for hundreds of years, perhaps thousands and it has been discussed that you can’t have one without the other.
I’m sorry for the length but I felt this was necessary not only for adequate communication reasons but hopefully for someone else out there someday. Although I still feel like this is only the tip of the top of the iceberg on this topic I will end this with a final challenge: go out and simply love, love everything, your special someone, your location of residency, your friends, your bed, your computer, anything and everything. Observe, as you reach no limit to what you can and cannot love. If you do this I promise whatever it is will be so much better in every way imaginable. If you have any questions/comments feel free to ask J.
Inspiration for this came from:
Zaria Bsharah, my beautiful cousin
Christian Dye, my son and best friend
Sabrina Farley, who told me to start writing again last semester
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