A Prophetic Prayer

“Excuse me.” Said a short brown skinned woman, whom I later found to be named Maria.

“Yes?” I respond, as I waited patiently for my roommate to finish talking with an older gentleman after the service so that we could go home, I was in no rush at all.

“I’m sorry, but I feel drawn to you, and I was wondering if you’ve ever heard of a prophetic prayer, and if you will allow me to perform one on you.”

“Ummm no I don’t really know what you are talking about, but sure.” As I stood hesitantly looking at the tall man who I believe was named Ben or Brent.

“Ok so how this is going to work, is I’m going to place my hand on your heart and pray out loud to God, I really feel like you are in need to hear Him today. Please don’t be afraid, sometimes I sway and move, it is natural when I become a channel.”

Then it started, the swaying and chanting just as she had said. I won’t lie, I thought this was going to be one of those things that I see on tv where there is a pastor chanting over an individual standing up and then suddenly at the end they yell and bam, the individual falls helplessly backwards only to be caught by strategically placed people. I’ve never been into that sort of thing but I have heard, and do believe that the Lord does some mysterious things through prayer, including speaking ancient tongues and that sort of gig.

My life was rocked within 30 seconds, and the sort of goofy thing, is that I felt as if, regardless of how greatly the words affected me, maybe it was because I didn’t show it, but I felt at the end as if Maria was unsatisfied but still happy at the same time. She asked if I had ever given my life to Christ in which I responded yes and told her how I’ve been wavering with my relationship with God for quite some time now. Before I get into the details let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am a Christian, and like all followers, I stumble. A lot. Regardless I’ve been blessed to have heard some pretty awesome messages and been given a wonderful memory so I tend to catch myself and sort of guide my way back from it all. During this moment in my life was one of those cases. I had started to really like a girl who was religious, and I was so happy to have finally found someone like her and just as I was getting excited, things fell through. Just because my life seemed to fall apart I still had the sense to know that I must continue rebuilding my relationship with the One who loves me the most, and that was exactly why I was in church that day. To feel my Savior and be in a community of believers who shared with my yearning for Him.

“ I’m seeing a smiley face. Not just a smiley face but rather a yellow one, the same kind that your elementary teachers would put on your paper before they gave it back to you. Does this have any significance to you?”

All I could do was nod, as I closed my eyes and imagined exactly what she was telling me, too afraid to open my mouth for I was not sure if I could even make a sound.

“God is trying to give you this sticker Mason, He wants you to know that you are doing good. He is smiling down upon your life and wants you to know that he is so happy and proud of you. He wants to give you this smiley sticker, not for a good job on an assignment but rather for how you are doing right now in your life, to tell you that you are exactly where you need to be and He is so happy for you.”

Anyone else would find this rather anticlimactic, which is why I said that I felt as if Maria wasn’t as satisfied with the outcome as I was. My entire motive for life, everything that I’ve done so well to bottle up in side me just came out and it wasn’t my tongue that spoke the words of blasphemy towards my secret. Yet still no one listening in would be any the wiser, it was truly a moment between our God and myself, a moment that I am choosing to share with you. I, for the first time in awhile, felt like running. Running long and far away in order to escape the cars, the people, and the world. I wanted to be alone, on a ridge over looking the world so that here I could talk with my Creator just as He talked with my ancestors long before. I didn’t want to hold in my happiness and excitement yet as calmly as I could I thanked Maria and Ben/Brent who wished me a good day and hoped to see me the next week. Unfortunately I have not gone back to that church, I believe God has sent me to my new church for a reason and I plan to become a member of this other community for my own personal reasons. It is insane how He can design a message to be spoken that is so direct and personalized to so many different situations that we walk away knowing that that message was meant for me, maybe a few others but with out a doubt He wanted me to be in this geographic location at this exact moment in time on this date.

Before I continue to rant about His impeccable timing, which we have all heard a million times before and hopefully all believe in its truth, I will start to explain myself. This is going to be a very personal piece of writing but there is no way to relay the power of a prophetic prayer than to give part testimony simultaneously. So here it is.

I am a perfectionist. When I was little I always put my toys back whenever I was done playing with them. I cried when I got my hands dirty, and to this day I hate the feeling of being dirty (weird that I did concrete construction for 8 summers full time ya?). Before I entered school I could read, with great thanks to my older sister Megan. And before I knew math I was discovering basic mathematical sequences and giving them to my mother to show the math teacher whom she worked with. I was so thirsty for knowledge that I wanted nothing more than to know more, and to one day, know the most. So it wasn’t a surprise during kindergarten screening when they handed out gold stars, that I wanted to achieve one from each station, which I did. This year my mother said the lady told her that in a given exercise where the child is given blocks and asked how many different arrangements can be made, the lady was shocked by how much more I had made than anyone else. Naturally, I sought the “good job” sticker throughout elementary school. I increased my reading level to above high school and did everything I could to stay as far ahead as I could. It is only here, that I could find happiness. I feared that someone would know more trivia than I did, that someone else would become the “smart kid.”

After elementary school, my outlook shifted, more from educational to social. I still had aspirations of attending an east coast college, but no longer felt the need to go above the call of the teachers to learn. I was in coast mode, which to this day sickens me, but lasted all the way until my sophomore year of college. In my life, I seek approval. I love to help people because when I help them, they look to me for future needs. If I’m needed in the future than I’m needed in their life, which means I’ve been approved at their standard. It, like most things in life, was never black and white, it changed case by case, but regardless I was never able to escape my desire for perfection. In high school it continued on to be the perfect person, someone who was exceptional in everything. A Leonardo Da Vinci as some would say, a renaissance man who could do amazing feats in a variety of unrelated tasks. To this day, I still have a strong attraction to that idea. Often imitated, never duplicated. This quickly became my life motto so to speak.

Hopefully now, the smiley sticker presented to me by God is starting to show you some relevance for my emotional state. Many people know that I am a perfectionist and I do not hide this. But I try to only joke about the idea of being as perfect a human being as I can. I often think of the teachings I’ve been told, “and go forth and live your life in the image of Jesus, strive to live that perfect life…” And not until recently when I was indulging myself with the Word did I start to realize that God does not care about the wisdom of this world and that He may come down at any time and mock those who think they are wise for it is only through Him that one may become truly wise. Only those who look to satisfying the wishes of the world will be but fools in the eyes of the Lord for the wise will look to Him to satisfy wishes. I have made the realization that I was indeed living for man, and not for God. I wanted so badly to satisfy and be accepted by everyone else that I wasn’t even concerned for the one who was satisfied the entire time. I will still try and be the best at everything I do, for it is in my nature and blood to pursue perfection, however I will now strive at this goal from a different viewpoint. Instead of aspiring to be the best because of what others will think I want to earn something much greater than all the gold and diamonds of this world could offer. I want to earn the smiley sticker from the One who laid the path for my mother and father to meet, the One who guided me 4000 miles away from everything I was once familiar with, the One who knows every star by name. It is for Him that I continue to pursue perfection, but because of Him, my thoughts are no longer a disease but rather a blessing. Romans 12: 6-8, Paul tells us to go out and do what God has given us the gifts to do, if its to serve than serve happily, if it is teaching, teach well, if God has given you the gift of leadership, than take the responsibility seriously…

I hope that you all will introspect and see what God has blessed you with. For no one person is equal in strengths and this is for a reason. So that we can have teachers, and servants and people to share kindness, people to lead us, and the list goes on. I pray that you will find your gifts and use them for His purpose, for it’s this purpose that we will make Him smile.

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him” 1 Corinthians 2:9 Just a verse that I read recently and felt like sharing J